Category Archives: Programming


Blaaaaargh.  I’m sick.

I’m having weird symptoms like nausea and dizziness, but that’s it.  No fever, no chills, no sinus issues, no pain.  At first I thought I must have eaten something bad, and the dizziness is a result of dehydration.

I called out of work today.  I had an appointment scheduled with our therapist, K. for this evening.  I thought “Eh, it’s just a stomach bug, I’ll be able to go to my appointment tonight.”  Then, I got hit with another wave of nausea.  I called K. and cancelled the appointment.

This is my first cancelled appointment since she returned to practicing.  Now, I’m starting to put some pieces of the puzzle together here…

K. and I have been attempting to work with Clara.  Clara is a part who is newer to our awareness.  Clara does not know me (Nel) or Mina (our other co-fronting part).  K., Mina, and I have been working to try to earn Clara’s trust and help her recognize we are safe in the present.  Understandably, Clara’s stuck in trauma time.

Now I’m wondering if Clara (or another part) is making us sick.  It could be that by trying to listen to Clara and ask her questions, Clara or another part feels like it is an interrogation.  Making us physically ill to the point where we can’t see K. sounds like a programming thing for sure.

Or I could have just eaten bad hot dogs yesterday. WHO KNOWS!