Sad Reality But Powerful Truth

I used to get a lot of anonymous private messages on Reddit, when I advertised in my flair that I was an RA survivor. They were nefarious, either trolls attempting to be jerks, or people familiar with programming trying to trigger flooding. Since changing it to an unpopular Doctor Who quote, those messages have completely stopped.

Recently, I engaged in a syscourse specifically about SRA. It started with a YT video of someone claiming there was no such thing specifically as abuse with satanic rituals. They even gave specific examples which many of us survivors are tortured with. Definitely true events, not mythical conspiracy.

What they meant to focus on, was that there is antisemitism associated with the 1980s/1990s “Satanic Panic” that took place in Europe. A very specific cultural thing, that does not apply to my RA (indirectly, sure, as my experiences ultimately were influenced by Nazi’s, but that’s not what they were talking about).

Anyway, completely ignoring my commentary that they needed to be careful claiming there was no such thing as (specific examples of RA that has happened to many survivors), they got another online YT friend to comment at me about how I was being antisemitic.

I’m not one to hold grudges. I’m sure they had a deeply personal reason for making the YT video which was shared on twitter. However, it did get me thinking. Maybe I should make some twitter posts about RA stuff I was working on in therapy.

I did so. Overall, they’ve been well-received. Several people have direct messaged me asking for scholarly articles on the topic of RA. It’s a highly triggering topic, even for those with no RA history. But it was nice to see people wanting to educate themselves, instead of writing it off as conspiracy.

Unfortunately, this has brought on the attention of both trolls and abusers again. I have gotten some of the most wicked direct messages on twitter. These have been more sophisticated, targeting programming of multiple subsystems.

But we have come so far in our recovery, our first instinct was to laugh. We knew exactly what they were trying to do. I wasn’t afraid of this programming, as almost all of the people who actually were involved in my abuse are dead. Call-backs to the group stopped 7 years ago. Nobody has ever tried to contact me since.

These anon people DM’ing me, though they may be abusers in some group somewhere, clearly have no idea who I am. They’re just doing what they’ve sadly been trained to do–which is come after someone speaking the truth about these abuses.

I laughed because they had no power over me.

I have to say, it was a shocking, yet beautiful moment in my recovery.

Be safe,

-Nel

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