I knew who i was this morning, but i’ve changed a few times since then. -lewis carroll

If you couldn’t tell from the title, trigger warning for RA and Programming.

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It’s hard to grasp what is real and what is not. It’s hard to sit at my desk in my home and work. I could fall asleep just now and who knows when I would wake up. It’s as if there are too many programs being triggered off at once, in a succession of grand fireworks. It’s startling at first. Then you just expect the uncomfortable loudness and get lost in the colors and lights. My whole right side of my body is shivering. My left side is non-existent. Grounding harms me as if the use of the skill was planned for, so it’s making dissociation worse. When my skills don’t work, I take a PRN. One of the side effects is it makes me sleep, which is what they wanted in the first place.

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