Internal Communication

K. (our therapist) has been working consistently with us on building internal communication with a newly discovered part named Clara.  This has been difficult for a variety of reasons.  During sessions, we become flooded with intense emotions.  Because Clara is in “trauma time” they are feelings like panic, terror, and despair.  Tough stuff.

In addition to that, she’s been very patient with us only committing to Internal Communication one time per week.  That’s totally not enough.  Especially when trying to get to know a new part and ground her to the present.

This weekend, we’ve decided to commit to working on Internal Communication.  Below is a copy of a basic IC worksheet from Sheppard Pratt.  I feel a little silly going back to the basics, but I also know this is needed.  Clara is young, so she also needs concrete questions to answer.  Because we get swept up, influenced by her intense emotions, it’s hard or us to remember what questions to ask, let along insure they are concrete.

So, here’s the worksheet.  I don’t think I’m going to post her responses to the blog, but I thought it would be helpful to share the resource.


Be safe!



4 thoughts on “Internal Communication”

  1. I feel funny questioning Shepard-Pratt!

    A barrage of questions makes pple feel on the spot, as if they are being interrogated. A gentler way to approach is

    “I’d like to know…”
    “If it’s okay for you to tell me…”
    “you said…I wonder if you also (Like you said you were friends with x,I wonder if you also are friends with y”
    “I wonder if a soft blanket would feel good.”

    1. I agree and had the same reaction. Having had instances of interrogation tied to abuse and double-binds and punishments, this type of questioning would never work with my insiders. They would run for cover. 🙂

      Internal communication, for my system, has been a very gradual process. It takes a long time for internal parts to trust me. They are gradually becoming aware of each other. As an RA survivor, groups are triggering, so even the idea of forming an internal group is triggering to some parts. Most won’t communicate in words so artwork or journaling have been the most effective. Most of my success with internal communication has come when I have been open and receptive and waited for them to be ready to share with me.

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